Stumbled upon an interesting post, I’m getting pregnant on purpose to piss off my parents, which led me to write mine.
Yes, teenagers have sex.
The more you tell them not to, the more they will want to go do it. So, perhaps, as parents, you should just encourage it, then the novelty and excitement factor is diminished, especially if their parents are raving about sex and talking about how enjoyable it can be.
Consequences for teenage (or even tweenage) sex is multiple. The most innocuous being heartbreak or humiliation (due to inability to perform well or unfavorable rumors being spread, etc.), then diseases like STDs and, god-forbid, AIDS, and then, last but not least, babies. Nobody wants to experience any of these, but a teenage clouded brain cannot think past The Moment.
Because of this fact, I am planning to approach the matter of sexual education or The Talk in a different manner.
Personally, as a mom-to-be for a baby boy, I would not mind if he has a good repertoire of sexual experience before he meets his true love / future wife. I even think it is essential. Just as long as the experience gathered are not from 1) prostitutes (he needs to know how to get a girl), 2) sluts (think STDs) 3) a Mrs. Robinson (that is just wrong). Preferably, he will have a few steady girlfriends to enjoy intimacy together.
Everyone knows that 95% of puppy love ends in break up. You are just too young or too naive as a teenager. But being in a steady relationship (albeit one with tragic ending) is very confidence-building and a great education. There is a sense of security in long(er)-term relationships and you learn how to love and be loved and find out your preferences in a future partner and companion. I would definitely recommend that for my boy.
From me, he will hopefully learn how to treat a girl properly. Chivalry cannot die. I also hope to teach him to be observant, sensitive and caring, but not to the point where he becomes suffocating or “clingy”. I would also like him to learn to be confident and charming, though having good morals so as not become a womanizer. These, are my hopes and dreams, but I am an idealist.
As to sex, I will not oppose it, but rather tell him what to expect. Not the actual act itself. I do not think I can go into graphic details about what goes on. I will leave that task to his father or give him a copy of playboy. But “what to expect” as in the aftermath of engaging in sexual intercourse as a teenager. The good in having a stable loving partner to experiment and perfect this art, etc, etc. The bad being the diseases & the possibility of a baby.
I will probably dwell on the baby topic in depth, because I feel that it is the most life-changing consequence anyone can go through. Being in charge of a new life while a teenage boy (or girl) is still trying to figure life out is not going to be fun. And, honestly, it will become more work for the baby’s grandparents (i.e. me).
No offence to babies. I love them. But I do not want to see my boy struggling unprepared. Also, my boy and his baby-mama will not be able to provide the best for the baby, who might in turn suffer as a result. I cannot life with that, and my boy probably cannot either.
Mistakes are part of life, but you can prevent some of them. Educating my baby boy on sex and its consequences will be part of my job as a parent, so I will try my best to do a good job at it. Hopefully, I will only have to nurse a few heartbreaks and pat him on the shoulder for becoming wiser and stronger. I am not ready to be a grandparent in less than 20 years.