I am weak.
I will admit it. I cannot bear to hear my baby cry.
But I tried “sleep training” for about a week or two back when he was around 6 months old. I let him CIO (Cry It Out) at bedtime, thinking that he will learn to “self sooth”.
Why?
(1) He was taking his sweet time to fall asleep at bedtime. I started feeling guilty about spending so much time waiting for him to be in deep sleep before transfer rather than doing more “productive activities”, like washing dishes or doing laundry.
(2) For naps, he needed to be held or nursed and, most of the time, both. It was getting a tad confining, but I loved the cuddles. Plus, I felt bad not engaging in “productive activities” mentioned above.
(3) I thought helping him sleep was creating bad habits for him. Many websites I have read told me this, and a lot of people kept telling me to “put down the baby” and “do not keep holding him!” I did not want him to start off with bad habits.
(4) Many people around me suggested it and they boasted of the miraculous property of CIO. After the first 3/5/9 (you get the drift) rough days, their babies slept like logs. No more waking up at night. (But they have to “retrain” from time to time.)
Although I was skeptical about it and it sort of went against my instincts, I gave it a try because I thought it was for his own good.
Obviously it did not work.
When he was crying in his crib, I felt scared and angry. Every cell in my being screamed for me to go get him. Instead, I sat there watching the baby monitor intently and tried to eat my dinner. Daddy was sent into his bedroom to check on him after a few minutes of crying.
What was that? You are saying that we did not keep at it long enough for it to work? Perhaps. But I had enough of watching him crying alone in his crib before he fell asleep. It did not feel like a healthy “habit” to me either.
So, no more CIO. Just WIO.
{ Inspired by Daily Prompt | Never Again }
Have you dappled in CIO too, but “quit”?
We’ve, elected from day one, to WIO but I just learned the term recently. In fact after nearly a 2 hour struggle my Tiny just went down. He was tired went down and crawled in his sleep and then just couldn’t get back to sleep. I let Tiny cry one night for five minutes and that was the end of that for me!
Thanks for sharing! Instinctively, I go with WIO, but all the noise and the uncertainty of being FTM led me to try CIO. I feel really bad about it… I love helping baby sleep (nursing mostly) and he didn’t have to cry to fall asleep.
If you are on facebook there is a wonderful group called “Wait It Out” Method Support (Toddler/Infant sleep) and there is also a wonderful website called Nurshable the whole idea behind both is gentle parenting. 🙂
Yes I’m in the group! It’s a wonderful, supportive community. And I got the bracelet. lol
And I saw the nurshable link after I commented 🙂
Follow your instinct I say! Just because CIO works for others doesn’t mean it works for you. And it’s not just what works for the baby, it’s what works for the mom too. Personally I did the CIO at the beginning but it was hard to hear her cry! So I would turn off the volume and just stare at the monitor (meanwhile turning my timer on so if it doesn’t seem like she’s calming down I’d just go into her room and try to calm her down). We are lucky in that we didn’t have to do the CIO for too long. Now that she is 1, I can’t stand hearing her cry so I usually just go in and calm her down before sneaking out of the room (and that works). If I have another baby I may do things differently though!
Thanks for the encouragement! I know and am glad that CIO works for some babies, who fusses more than cry probably. Mine scream-cries, so that was way too stressful for all of us. I think as they grow older, they are more aware and are actually calling you because they need to know that you are there. I can’t even imagine middle of the night CIO. Eventually, they will all sleep on their own (whether or not they sleep through the night), so I am also trying to get as many baby snuggles as I can now!
Just for future reference if you want to read the protected entries my password is always Samuel 🙂
Thanks! I look forward to reading your posts!